a girl's gotta rant

It has been hotter than 40 hells this week.  Have you ever noticed that when people discuss the weather in any given season, someone ultimately says...well, it's ________(fill in your season).  I reckon it's time. 

If you've been following the news, you'll know that California has had three earthquakes this week.  Being from Carolina, I'm not sure if any of those were aftershocks, or whatever they call them, but it looks like it's going to be another weird weather year for the world. 

Wait a minute, this was supposed to be a rant blog.  Let me wake up my drowsy brain and get down to business.

Yesterday, the sick call nurse (who comes to the unit three times a week) popped her squeaky voiced self over to the institution.  The woman might do eleven sick calls - that's a high number. Trust me, her workload isn't much on Central Unit, because we have an RN and an LPN on duty at all times.  But this particular sick call nurse comes over from the hospital and proceeds to try to change the way things are done.

I was working South Unit when the phone rang.

Ms. Broadaway, inmate so and so has an optometry appointment for July 22.  Where is that appointment to take place?

Keep in mind, I schedule all the appointments for the entire institution, population 545, and the appointment book for Central was over on Central...and I have about 50 scheduled for optometry.  Further, there are only two institutions in our region that have an optometrist.  WHY would she need to know where?  And how was I supposed to remember who inmate so and so is?

A few minutes later, the phone rang.  Ms. Broadaway, this inmate transferred in with labwork pending for a PSA, and I don't know if it was done. 

A few minutes later, she called again.  Do you order the toenail solution?  We don't have any of that here.  Could you order some?

Well, no I couldn't.  It's not a floor stock supply - it requires nursing protocol, and I'm not a nurse.

This may not sound like much to you, but when you work two nursing stations as ward clerk and also as admin secretary to the supervisor, and you've got six inches of filing that came in the morning bus mail and a zillion medical encounters to enter and charts to audit or ship to other units, meetings to attend, bills to pay, mail to prepare for outgoing, numbers to dial because someone else's fingers must surely be broken, janitors to supervise in office cleaning because we don't have enough custody staff to handle that, calls to field, procedures to schedule and forms to fill out for both sides, and supplies to order - both office and floor stock meds and medical supplies...?  The fuse gets kind of short.

NO, I cannot order the toenail solution, and no I don't know if this guy had a PSA, and PLEASE, Nurse Sick Call, DO NOT tell the inmate when and where his appointment is so that he can plot his escape - and if you need a spoon, look in the filing cabinet under 'S', and I will not open the charts for the doctor to the orders that have to be signed after I've pulled all 150 of them out of the filing cabinet and hauled them to his office - they're tagged, and if he can't flip them open, then I pity him.  And further, for the med techs - if you got yourself kicked out of the state network by entering the wrong password repeatedly, YOU call the site security administrator and get yourself put back in, and please, nurse on duty - it's not my job to keep up with the ailment of every inmate that passes through receiving - if you have a question, OPEN THE CHART and READ IT. 

I have done the inventory and placed all the orders for supplies.  I have gotten in my private vehicle, driven to where they're stored, loaded them myself and hauled them up the stairs to you.  I have done all the filing, entered your encounters, made all the requests for outside medical treatment and made the appointments when they're approved. I have marked off all the labwork when it comes in over the machine.  I have made sure the janitors do their job and if they haven't, then when I can cram in a little extra, I do the dusting, myself.  I have run across the institution 50 times today, climbed four flights of stairs numerous times to take care of this or that, and that doesn't include trips to operations to notify them of whatever they need to be notified about - on paper.  I have gathered all the information for the monthly report, filled it out and handed it to the supervisor.  I've pulled all the charts, prepared them and the book for sick call, have given the PA clinical information that you should have given her and done all the emails that needed sending.  have answered all your questions about inmate so and so and have shredded a million pieces of paper.  I have retrieved the mail and dessiminated it, I have purged the cabinets of medical jackets of inmates who are no longer in the system, audited them and mailed them to health services, combined the records of those who are in for the twelfth time and have multiple ones, and I am TIRED.

Y'all are killing me.