a shopping fool

i am trying, i think, to fill my empty nest with material possessions.

never have been much of a shopper.  that was a task for when it was absolutely necessary, but lately...

oh man.  i've bought 6 bracelets, a ring, a bottle of karmala perfume and body lotion, matching pieces to my grandmother's china...all that from ebay.  they were great deals, even with shipping charges.

and i've bought...3 blouses - 2 linen and 1 cotton - and an entire alfred dunner outfit with sparklies on the jacket.  all that for 11 bucks.  yard sale. and the alfred dunner outfit still had the tags on it.

tonight, i had planned to take jim and charles to dinner and a movie, but nobody wanted to go, including me.  so we ended up at the movie rental store, where they were having - you guessed it - a fabulous sale on vhs's.  2/$6 from one rack, and $2 each on another.  WELL - To Wong Foo (don't you just love wesley snipes and patrick swayze in that one?) and some others so i got 4 movies from the 2/6 rack, and some audio books and a couple of movies from the $2 rack.  and can you believe..the sales lady GAVE me the items from the $2 rack!?

the deals have been great, no doubt about it, but...i believe i'm gonna have to hang up my ebay password for a while.  this could become an addiction.

burning love

and so, the week is almost over, the national commission on correctional health care audit is over and we are still in operation and i decided to celebrate by doing anything but thinking about work.  i went to my brother's store to hang out for a few minutes.

he grinned, plopped a bag of tortilla scoops on the counter and opened a styrofoam cup full of salsa and said - try it! 

hmmm.  my brother is one of those people it is not wise to trust, so i eyed him with suspicion, took a scoop and dipped it in the salsa.

careful now, he said.

HOLY MAMA MIA SAVE ME LORD, WHERE'S THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER, but oooh, it burned so GOOD!

that little chit gave me habanero sauce.  and he had the nerve to store it in styrofoam.  and then he said - i've sold more soft drinks today than i have all summer!

i wonder why? ;-)

great big *grin*

you would think there would be no more surprises left in life, but i got the shock of my life this morning in the jewelry department at walmart.

i was kneeling on the floor, checking out jewelry cleaners when i heard a male voice asking the sales lady...so the price of piercing is included with the earrings?

oh no.  that could not be.  but it was and i knew it and i knelt there on the floor, laughing out loud and the man said - and what are YOU laughing at?

i turned to my 6 ft. tall, blond haired blue eyed rugged ex jock husband  and said - oh, this is not real! 

sure it is, he said.  just watch.

he picked out a diamond stud, sat in the chair and presto - he sparkles now! and he picked up some pony tail ties for his shaggy hair and so now here i am at home, not believing this - jim has a pony tail and earring!

i'm seeing him with brand new eyes!

a fun kind of day

It was my first real day back at work after the unfortunate mishap in the transcription room.  I cover-sticked the black eye, pulled some hair down over the laceration and headed out 30 minutes early in order to get a parking place.

You would think that would be plenty of time, but noooooooooooo.  Two of the parking lots were closed off - there was NOWHERE, i repeat - NOWHERE to park except the old nursing quarters 1/4 a mile away.  And so, I had my morning walk, stalked into the building with every intention of dragging my breathless self into the superintendent's office to complain bitterly, but thought better of it.  Ticking off the big boss is not the best way to start a Monday.  I ducked into the office where Carol was already sitting at her desk.  It was 7:59.

"Ya know - I was HERE at 7:30 and it took me this long to park and walk from Missouri.  GRRRRRRRRR"

Carol said - "I have bad news.  I forgot the carafe and basket for the coffee maker.  What are we going to do?"

WHAT?  No coffee on top of everything else?

"I just don't know, Carol.  Buy instant at the canteen?"

I huffed around the office and got down to business.  Ten minutes later, Roberta walked in.  Now..Roberta is minister and always has a smile on her face.  She flung the door open, glared around the room and said - "Good morning," but you could certainly see that she meant good (#*!%^& morning.  don't talk to me.

This was a shock.  I had never seen Roberta like this before, but I suppose an unplanned morning hike can do that to anybody - even the kindliest of preacher women.  I felt dread when Carol said to her - "Roberta, I forgot the -"

NO, don't TELL her! i pleaded.

"coffee pot.  Mara, what are we going to do about that?"

And so I got on the phone, looking for spare coffee machine parts and danged if I didn't find an entire spare coffee machine in central supply!

And while in the hallway, I bumped into the superintendent and new captain.  This was a prime opportunity to express my dissatisfaction with parking space, but...

Man, that new captain looked familiar.  He came closer and...could it really be?  It WAS!  My cousin, Ken.  :-D  Things were looking up.

To cut this ramble short - Roberta had her coffee and smiled again. And she allowed us to talk to her.  Carol was pleased that we were all caffeined up, the superintendent was in a jolly mood, and between the cousins, there is gonna be some mischief at the hospital.  And the best thing that happened was - I had a call from a friend with good news.  He's employed again! 

It isn't so hard for a day to turn around.  Even a Monday.

Rosie, Snow and Smudge

Rosie isn't lonesome anymore, and she does not like it.  Not one little bit.

One day last week, I came home to find not one, but two kittens on my front porch, under the baby seat my son left there.  They seemed a tad shy, and who could blame them? So I left them alone until it was time to feed the other animals and figured they must be hungry, too.  I picked up the first one, a snow white little kitty who surprised me by purring.  No fear there.  Or maybe she knew my intent.  Hmmm.  This one had promise.  I took it inside and went back for the other one.  Just as snowy, but with a charcoal smudge on her head.  She purred, too and I thought - this is remarkable!  It isn't often you find two kittens that aren't afraid and wearing flea collars.  They must belong to one of the neighbors, I thought.  I took Smudge in, too.

They were immediately at home, except they had to face Rosie.

Rosie flattened her ears and hissed.  You aren't keeping those, are you?  she asked.  No, she demanded to know.

"Well...until their humans turn up, they can stay.  And you should be nice.  It isn't often you have company."

"Company?  Oh please.  They look like laboratory rats.  And I bet their personalities are as pale as they are."

"Now Rosie.  You wouldn't want me to leave them at the mercy of every dog in the neighborhood, would you?  Or let them go hungry?"

"Speaking of such, what are they going to eat?"  She looked at me expectantly.  I didn't answer - partly out of fear. 

"Let me repeat - WHAT are they going to eat?"

"There's a 25 lb. bag of food here, Rosie..."

"But..that's MINE!"

"God.  I'll replace their share of it, okay?"

"You have tomatoes."

"Cats don't eat tomatoes."

"Look again, smarty pants."

I turned, and there was Snow, on the counter, chewing away at the freshly sliced whopping big boy tomato.  I shooed her away.

"It's different, isn't it, when the shoe is on the OTHER foot?"  She looked smug and satisfied that she might not be the only one inconvenienced.  "All I can say is - don't expect me to be nice.  And keep them off of my bed.  And if they approach my food bowl - there will be consequences.  And if they get in my way?  I'm not responsible for what might happen.  Otherwise - ok, you have my permission to let them stay. For a brief period."

She arched her tail in the air, lifted her head and walked away.

When I found out my son was the one who left the kittens on my doorstep, I didn't dare tell Rosie.  She will eventually figure out that Snow and Smudge are here to stay, but for everyone's safety - that will happen when it happens.

 

the fog is lifting ;-)

"thumbing" through the news this morning, i came across an article about a man in a dallas hospital who tried to light up a cigarette while wearing an oxygen mask.  needless to say, the room burned, medical equipment melted, and around 1,000 people had to be evacuated from the building.  the man was saved by a quick-thinking, quick-acting nurse whom i hope he will remember in his will.

now that was one helluva nicotine fit.

one of my biggest fears at work is that some long confined, oxygen dependent infirmary patient will blow the hospital clean to ft. bragg by lighting up in his room.  when a code 400 (fire) is called anywhere in the building, you can bet that 1.  someone was cleaning a closet and the dust was so thick it set off the fire alarm.  2.  faulty wiring is to blame or 3.  the hawk shouted man down! (officer approaching) and one of the inmates shoved a lit cigarette under a mattress to hide it.

but so far, nothing beats the time ol' raspberry hawkins (don't you just love that name?) was perched on top of the propane tank holding a box of matches, poised to strike at any second.  that one had to be 'talked down'.

ok, my ramble is over for the morning.  and my brain is beginning to function normally again.  happy saturday, everybody.

the men and women in blue

i would like to take a minute to say a few words for the boys in blue that i'm acquainted with.  they aren't considered 'real' officers because they work in correctional facilities - they're in charge of watching the inmates after they've been captured and convicted.

there are a few bad peaches in every bushel.  for the most part, though, most are really good guys who are subject to the same risks that cops on the outside face.  and all they have inside the prison to defend themselves with is pepper spray.  meanwhile, they have urine and feces thrown on them by the prisoners. 

i read an article yesterday on the local news station - while  out to court, and inmate was shot and killed after he somehow took an officer's weapon and shot him in the shoulder.  and he was in full restraints!

the same inmate was serving a sentence of 56 years for kidnapping, assault, etc.  and after he was convicted of kidnapping at his first trial, he immediately beat the living snot out of his attorney - right there in the court house - and fractured the attorney's skull.

my god.  i'm so glad it wasn't one of the officers i worked with...and if anybody in state governemnt derserves a raise, it would be the CO's.  and so for today, i guess i'm thankful that nothing like that has happened in the places i work, and that none of my buddies have been injured. 

if you want to read the article you can find it at http://www.wral.com/news/9504300/detail.html

it's something else.

here comes wednesday!

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be. " - Shel Silverstein

Once upon a time, a dear friend sent me a Shel Silverstein book titled Falling Up, after I'd had a bad experience.  If he's reading...I would like him to know that his good deed was passed on to a lady who was in dire need of falling up, and who appreciated Silverstein's optimism.  I sat beside her as she read, and it was so good to see her smile and hear her laugh.

Enjoy the quote :-)

can't sleep

so i snagged this from Lahoma's page.  might as well do something...

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?

no


2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters? 

oh no, i want to see where i'm going
 

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?

 

never

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?

i definitely like sleeping with someone else.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?

i do believe in spirits.  ask me why one day.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?

in ways, i know i am.

7. Do you think O. J. Simpson killed his wife?

of course he did.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?

why would this concern me...

9. Do you stay friends with your exes?

only if i like them.

10. Do you know how to play poker?

i have played, but my game is canasta.


11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

never.

12. What's your favorite commercial?

the geico commercials.  that little gecko is adorable.
 
13. What are you allergic to?

players.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?

nope.
 
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?

no...

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?

i'm not much of a sports fan.
 

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating? 

uh uh, but i've been roller skating.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?

frequently
 
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?

can't remember
 

20. Can you name 5 songs by the Beatles?

1.  Hey Jude
2,In My Life
3, Let it be
4, Helter Skelter
5, Ruby in the sky 

21. What's the one thing on your mind right now?

my headache.
 

22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass Barbie is?

no...someone should fill me in?
 

23. Do you always wear your seat belt?

afraid not.
 
24. What cell service do you use?

None


25. Do you like Sushi?
actually, no.
26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
sure, who hasn't?

27. What do you wear to bed?

either shorts and a t-shirt, a gown, or ..well, i won't embarrass you.

28. Been caught stealing?

i don't steal


29. What shoe size do you have?

8

30. Do you truly hate anyone?

no...there are a few people whose ways i dislike and i steer clear of them, but hate is such a negative emotion.  i don't think i'm capable.

31. Classic Rock or Rap?
Classic Rock

32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?

oh no...i'm not a groupie.

33. Favorite song?

can't say that i have one.  it depends on my mood.
 

34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?

No...but i've sung in the kitchen with a salt shaker microphone.

35. What food do you find disgusting?

i would have to say pig's feet, ears...stuff like that.

36. Do you sing in the shower?

hmm.  no, i never have. 

37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours?"

no, if i wanted to see i just asked.

38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?

absolutely not.  what kind of friend would do such a thing?
39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?

yes
40. Have you ever been punched in the face?

moi?  now you know not.

and so it's going to be a long weekend

no work for me until wednesday.  poor mr. trangaris...

tonight, i went to dinner at my son's future in-law's and frankly had a good time.  i don't get out much, so this was a treat.  and they had a POOL TABLE!!!!  i used to be pretty good at shooting, but that was years ago.  when my son challenged me to a game, i found out that if you don't use it, you do indeed lose it.  it won't take long, though, to get back up to speed.  and so one of the summer challenges is to get my game back to par.  and then i'm gonna whip his butt.

i've been reading the gratitude journals lately and they certainly do make me realize we have much to be thankful for.  as for me, the people in my life... i have to say, i'm very, very blessed.  and today i'm thankful for each and every one of them, and all of you.  thank you for being a part of my life.

sub q foreign bodies

i would like to thank you all for your good thoughts and concern - i really appreciate that, and am doing ok.  y'all are so nice.

a subcutaneous foreign body is something under the skin that shouldn't be there. could be anything that somehow got under the skin.  in my case, it looks like a bb.  my brothers were mean when they were little, ya know. 

yesterday was interesting.  was going over the bill and noted what labs were done - cbc, troponin I, etc and thought - dang, i know what those are! my time in medical has not been wasted.   and noticed something else...there was a charge for a tetanus shot.  hmm. i didn't get a tetanus shot and will dispute it.  i wasn't THAT out of it.

my god, how expensive medical care is. yesterday's mishap cost over 2k.  further, i could not leave the room until someone was available to 'walk me out', which meant walking me to the checkout line.  i suppose they have, in the past, had people who walked out and kept going...therefore, it is necessary to escort wounded people to the money woman who asked me - what portion of this would you like to pay today?

...

i would have paid all of it, but i was fresh out of pocket change.

this certainly makes me feel for people who do not have insurance and live JUST above the poverty level, making them ineligible for any kind of financial help.  there isn't a wide gap between indigenous and barely making it...something has to be done about the cost of health care and availabilty of funds for it in this country.

at the same time...i realize how expensive equipment, staffing and overhead costs are.  can you imagine, though, the price of a lengthy admission?  or even a short one.  omigod, the soapbox is calling me...

amazing isn't it, how a bump on the head can make you think.

one killer cup of coffee

i'm the coffee maker in the office because i know how it's done, and so today after lunch, i made the afternoon pot, grabbed a cup and headed to the transcription desk in order to keep my promise to mr. trangaris - all the psych clinic notes next week.

WELL...the boss came in and we were having a nice little conversation when i choked on the coffee. the last thing i remember was holding up my palm to let her know i was gonna cough, and i did...and that's the last thing i remembered for a while...i thought i was dreaming..i kept hearing roberta and carol call my name, and i opened my eyes and i was on the floor and couldn't see out of my right eye and i reached up and it was full of  blood.

i remember asking...what happened? and saying..i need help...and boy, did help come.  when i could think and see again, dr. elsaid, jackie the r.n., the director of nursing, a whole bunch of custody staff..i don't even remember who all was there, but all these people were LOOKING at me, and jackie was cleaning my face, and they told me ems was on the way. 

i had fainted, gashed my head on the corner of the desk and hit it pretty hard on the stone floor.

i'm ok - except my blouse and bra are soaked with blood and ruined, this headache is gonna be whopping when the swelling goes down,  i'm gonna have a nasty purple bruise over my right eye and...i broke a nail.  shoot, shoot, shoot.

oh, and the ct scan showed a subcutaneous foreign body.  that explains a lot.

you know what...they took care of me, those people i work with did.  i don't remember getting on the stretcher, but i do remember the assistant superintendent winking at me when they wheeled me out.

i'm afraid mr. trangaris won't get his clinic notes on time...

now tell me i don't make one killer cup of coffee ;-)

adding my signature

one of the first things i do every day is read my horoscope, and today mine said something like..you don't HAVE to get involved, but you want to.  people are waiting for you to put more of yourself into your interactions.  go for it!  add your signature to life!

now, that could get a person in trouble and so i know i must approach the day with a little bit of caution, because some days you just know a personality surge is welling up and often, it has consequences.  and so, i decided to check my horoscope for tomorrow to see just how much trouble this was going to net me, and...there was nothing there.  no text.  blank page.  panic set in - what does this mean?!

it probably means the page didn't load completely,
__________________________________________________

i wonder what happened to...

the young officer at hoke who encouraged me to apply for a custody position.  he popped into my mind for no apparent reason this morning.  a sweetie pie, that one was, who was just the right combination of tact and tough.

my ex-boss, ava, who retired in june.  she threw a party for her staff, hit the road and no one has heard from her since.  but that's just like her...no looking back.  that anyone knows, anyway.

twinkles, who manned the switchboard and flirted outrageously with me.  dark hair, twinkly eyes, answered the switchboard phone "Ms. Broadaway's telephone service, how can i help you?"

the secretary who took my place at the prison.  she hasn't been to work in more than a week, and my sweet RN friend, andrews, has been faxing me all the ur's to enter.

i feel this pull...i've a good mind to talk to the director of nursing and see if she would be interested in rehiring me.  i miss the adrenalin rush.  i miss andrews, who desperately needs me.  i miss dr. h...and i even miss the work.
___________________________________________________________

a funny thing happened yesterday in the medical record department:

i called the floor officer to send a certain inmate down to sign an authorization for release of information, pulled up his base screen, filled out the form according to the information in the state network. the inmate arrived.

"mr. l?"

"yes, that's me!  you have the same job my mother does! she works in medical records at ___hospital!"

"oh really...well, that's where we're sending this authorization, so she should be able to help you out!"

"i have the actual MRI films."

"you do?  you mean..at home?"

"yep, i have a copy of all my xray films."

"well, that's convenient. if you would sign right here.."

"hmmm...that's not my social security number. and that's not how you spell my last name."

i paused, looked at the guy and said...would you mind sitting right here for just a minute?  don't go nowhere!"

"not for another 2 years, anyway!"

so off to recheck the information.  sure enough, he has aliases and multiple social security numbers.  aha!  this was not going to be simple. i changed the social security number, had him read and check the rest of the information, which he concluded was correct, and i faxed the form to the hospital.

a few minutes later, it came back  stamped - this man has no records here.

so, mr. l - what social security number and alias did you use when you had the tests done?

guess i'll find that out today. for now, it's off to work.  happy friday, everybody!  and have a great weekend.  :-)

 

 

 

so what do you think, popeye?

dont mind the subject line.  it's a private joke sort of thing.

my friend lisa, whom i shall visit come october, is quite the poet.  she is, in fact, one of my favorite writers, and i'm just waiting for the day when she is crowned poet laureate of new jersey.  then i can say i knew her when - but knowing her now is one of the best things that ever happened to me.  i can't help but brag on her - she does readings at and around the princeton area and whether she admits it or not, has developed a following.  the poem i am about to post is in a public place - a poetry board called galadrial's respite, and this one spoke to me about vocabularies...and how certain words simply don't exist in certain ones.

The Point of No

"No" is always an option,
always something I can say,
and mean---
but no needs a point to be.

"No" has to mean not a game,
or I am done,
no more left to give,
not another mile in me---
no how, no way---I can't.

And always before
my no had resolve---
reluctantly given
because I meant what I said,
not fair to offer hope,
or the flare of embers---
and yet
with you, "No" means only not now---
until neither of us can bear
a moment more,
and all the world can demand,
but we are snug in Leda's egg,
praying Hera never knows
how to crack the shell.

- Lisa Shields

downsizing

WELL - it's  good thing my 14 year old nephew has loose lips.  the child couldn't keep a secret if it was crazy-glued to him, and yesterday he let it slip that my 18 year old son, dale, is engaged.  to a very pregnant young lady.  and he isn't the father. 

don't get me wrong - at his age, and given circumstances...it just seems the cautious thing to do would be go a little bit more slowly.  but then, what do we know of caution when we're 18?

and so, he has heard "give it some time.  see how it goes before you dive into the deep end."  whether he takes that advice or not is up to him.  and should he marry this young lady, and adopt the baby - well.  he (it's a boy) will be just as much my grandchild as any other that i have - another tiny person to love, and that is not a bad thing.

my son hasn't been home for about 2 weeks now - just long enough to grab his clothes and head back out.  he's safe, has a job,a new car and he's happy.  the empty nest i dreaded was a sneaking thing - it's here like a thunderclap, all of a sudden.  and it occurs to me, now that it's here...

a person's cabinet should contain only 1 glass, cup, plate, bowl, etc for each person living in the house.  that cuts down on dishwashing, if you think about it, because you aren't so tempted to reach into the cabinet and get another before the other is washed! in the event of company, there's chinet plates and solo plastic cups, both of which will bring a reality to my most wicked fantasy - throwing the dishes away after a meal.  :-D

one big trip to the grocery store and i could have enough food to last for a month.  i could cook 2 days a week and that would be plenty.  or you wouldn't have to eat at all if you didn't want to...just pop a vitamin and grab a celery stick on your way out the door.

i've made a list of things i can do in the house, now that i don't have to be decent and respectable.  walk straight out of the bathroom after a shower, au naturale.  put on that mud mask and not worry about traumatizing the kid in the next room.

oh yeah, it's gonna be fun...

maybe.

headin out

it's hot outside already this morning, but that's ok - it's going to be a good day.  i have geared up and packed my canvas bag with all the necessities for a day at the pool.  there is a pad for writing, should the notion strike, a book for reading, lots of sun screen, a pen, a very large container of water and that one item no woman should ever be without - lipstick.  and the most important thing in the bag is my sister's birthday gift.  i'm giving her an amber necklace and matching dangly earrings.  i hope she'll like it.

she was born on the 5th of july, the day after the fireworks, and frankly, i think she was ticked from the beginning that she missed the fireworks because her life has been full of them.  she makes them happen wherever she goes or whatever she does...currently, she is dating a death metal star, and since i'm not a death metal fan, i cannot tell you the name of the band, but they're popular in europe.  he flew in for her birthday.  :-)

and tonight, i'm tagging along with my brother and his sweet girlfriend (hope he doesn't mess this up) to the lake for the fireworks display.    when they light up the night, i think of another sky and how someone else, troops, saw explosions that were not something to ooh and ahh over.  what a contrast - bombs, missiles...explosive sounds, compared to bottle rockets and rings of light. 

and now, i must prepare to celebrate our fortune and freedom by eating at least 2 hamburgers, one hot dog and a huge slice of the mounds cake that aunt bessie made for my sister's birthday. 

happy 4th, everybody.

 

e.e. cummings

somewhere i have never traveled

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me,i  and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain, has such small hands