the last time i saw him - about two weeks ago, i think - he was jaundiced to the point of glowing in the dark. that wasn't surprising. he had been hooked on prescription pain killers for the past 10 years. and i'll be honest - i hated being around him. he was never sober. he wouldn't, or couldn't help himself. and i kept thinking back to the time when he was so upset that i was poking around the flower garden - because he had planted pot in the beds behind the tallest flowers. and of course, when doctors offices found out my last name - they asked if we were related. he had hit every doctor in 3 counties up for pain meds, and once stole a prescription pad from one physician. he was sentenced to probation for that.
i didn't like being around him much, no. i did feel some kind of sympathy though, because at one time he was brilliant. he could have been anything he wanted. all that, wasted.
today, my brother, steve, stopped by his house. my cousin's front door was wide open, and when he didn't get an answer, Steve walked in and found him on the living room floor. he had been bleeding from a head wound, and had been dead for at least 24 hours. it appears he tried to get up and fell, hit his head and laid there and died...and nobody would have known for days and days if steve hadn't decided to just pop in.
we all have our addictions, i think...some are more ruinous over the short term, like my cousin's. those are the ones that destroy lives and estrange friends and family. in a way, i think his death was a mercy, because the liver disease would have been a slow and much more painful way to leave the earth...
i couldn't help him. nobody could, because he didn't want to be helped...but i wish i had been kinder.
7 comments:
I'm sure you were not unkind. These people are so sad and there doesn't seem to be anything anyone can do. Yes I think he is better off. Paula
I am so sorry for the loss of your cousin ~ how very sad...
Thankfully your brother stopped by and found him.....
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!
Hugss...~Terri~
So sorry to hear about your loss. I guess the loss part happened quite a while ago, but it's still hard to lose a family member. Prayers for you and yours.
Shadie
That's rough. You summed it up in the subject line.
"a terrible waste".
But still sad.
Huggs-
Niki
I UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU ARE WITH THIS, MY SISTER IN LAW (1 OF THEM, I HAD 3) PASSED AWAY LAST YEAR. SHE ALSO DIED BY HERSELF, SHE WAS AN ALCOHOLIC AND EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY HAD TRIED TO HELP HER MANY TIMES, SHE DIDNT WANT IT. SHE WAS ALSO ONCE VERY BRIGHT AND TALENTED, SHE COULD PAINT BEAUTIFUL PICTURES ON ROCKS, AND DRAW THEM ELSEWHERE. SHE WAS VERY ACCOMPLISHED IN CROCHET AND NEEDLEWORK AND MADE MANY BEAUTIFUL THINGS AT ONE TIME. IT WAS SUCH A WASTE AND SO SAD.....................STORMIE
My sympathies for you and your cousin's family.
Lori
Mara..that's hard. You can't make someone want to live right, no matter what you do. I really believe that some people just have a death wish and nothing can be said or done to forestall them from fullfilling it. It is a shame, over the years look how many talented people we have lost to drugs. Sandi
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