It's a dangerous world out there...

You've probably all received a forwarded email about women who were accosted, assaulted, or even kidnapped or murdered, and you have probably known someone who was a victim, or God forbid, you may have been one yourself.

Yesterday, my daughter became a victim by simply stepping outside of her apartment door.  While she was locking the door, a man came up behind her, placed his arm around her neck and threatened to break it if she struggled or screamed. He went through her pockets.  And then he placed his mouth close to her ear and said, I could kill you right now, if I wanted to.  He let that sink in for a minute, then shoved her against the door and ran down the stairs.  She fled back into her apartment and locked herself there, but she never called the police.

Why?  Because not only was she petrified, she felt helpless.  "I never saw his face, mom.  Just his hands."  When I asked if she had tried to fight back, she said, "I was paralyzed."

It's for the best, actually.  She was completely alone, and had she tried to fight back, she probably would have incited the assailant more.  She was fortunate he didn't force her into the apartment, or into a car.  But the damage has been done, nonetheless.

I have many concerns, as a mother, about what he might do next. What is - I could kill you right now, if I wanted to?  Is that intimidation, or is that musing about doing it later?

I called my friend, Dr. H, who is a psychologist.  I thought he might have some insight into the criminal mind, being as he works with inmates every day.  He couldn't answer my question - Is he likely to come back?  But he did tell me to encourage her to make out a police report for her OWN good, because that would make her feel a little less helpless and hopeless.

I'm not sure what my daughter could have done to make herself safer, in this instance, but she assures me that from now on, she will peek into the hall before she exits the apartment.

This is by no means an all-inclusive list of things you can do to protect yourself, but here goes.  Please feel free to add your own:

Be aware - very aware of your surroundings.

If you are alone and your intuition kicks in, listen to it.  If you feel like you're being watched, chances are - you are.

Don't go out alone if you don't have to.  Take a friend.  Heck, take several.

Vary your routine - especially if you live alone.

Walk with your head up.  Look confident. 

Don't park in isolated areas.

Stay near the crowd.

Have your keys ready when you head to the parking lot.  And again, be aware.

If you do find yourself in a situation, hand over the purse.  Give him or her (you never know these days) the money.  But never, ever ever get in the car with the assailant.  Scream, raise a ruckus, draw attention. 

And it couldn't hurt to take a self-defense course. 

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