empty nesting

i have this fear of being old  and alone.

it hit me very suddenly, last night, in fact, when my son told me - Jessica and I have found a place and we're getting married December 16.

this is great news, really.  Jessica is a wonderful young woman with a level head on her shoulders, and she is just what my son needs, to my way of thinking.  and i knew they were getting married eventually.

but..wow.  this is so soon.  i guess he already spent his last christmas as my little boy, although he has never been a little boy, exactly.  i swear, he was born 30 years old.

i am happy for him.  he seems satisfied with his decision, and like i said..Jess is wonderful.

and i look around my house, and suddenly it feels so lonely.  so empty.

he's a good son.  has always wanted to take on the responsibility of being a man and taking care of what needs doing.  hauling in wood for the fire.  looking under the hood of mom's car to see if everything is ok.

he's moving only 30 miles away.  not so far, when you consider my daughter is 80 miles. 
i have to get a life, you know.

so...what will i do with myself while my husband sleeps or watches tv?

don't know.  join a gym.  volunteer somewhere.  call charles on the phone and listen to him make up my giving him a $400 jar filled with pennies from the last bet that i lost, just to get a rise out of me.

take up knitting?  oh, i don't think so.

take some classes.  travel.  write.  meet people.  get out of the house.

i just don't know.